Accessing the Creative Source
Witness:
Okay Witness... I'm almost angry at these two for showing up... They're old friends from inside... but I don't know that it's appropriate for them to be here -- masking something deeper. Maybe you, witness, can see what's really coming out, but *I* feel like they are trying to distract me from something.Oh I shouldn't be so angry. I think maybe htey are the sugar coating. I get the feeling I'm going to contradict myself many times in this witness writing.
The seahorse is upset -- I know that -- the mermaid is trying to soothe it. She loves it and adores it, it is very upset -- not at her. They are both aspects of me. I've known them a long while -- the mermaid, she's adaptable, a shape-shifter, but often at the cost of her health, her wholeness.
the seahorsse is of her world -- she does love things of her worlds as much as she falls in love with earthdwelling humans.
Seahorse -- sometimes a she, sometimes a he -- seahorse, wlmost whole within itself. (I think seahorse males actually carry the eggs after fertilizing but I may be wrong.) Eerie -- remarkable -- seahorse to me is that which is to be treated kindly, that which is special, rare, to be appreciated. Mermaid is very good at doing that. She can be familiar
andcasual with seahorse and still not offend, still hold seahorse in the high place seahorse is to be held. If we don't ... -- oh never mind -- on and on I can go... you get the gist.
Seahorse and mermaid don't hold pity parties -- so what's going on here? Maybe two friends, community members being in interaction with eachother? And the community they live in is my inner world.
Then let me say thanks you two for saying hello and reminding me that grace and wholeness can be comforted by an adolescentish, self-sacrificing shape-shifter.
My experience during this process was that it was necessary for me to think I was done, walk over to get more paper to paint on, form the images in my mind, cut the paper into a few sheets before I could "complete" the painting. After I was prepared to hang the new paper to paint on, I saw things I needed to fix, and within seconds I knew I wasn't going to use the paper I'd just cut, I was going to work more on the painting at hand. Odd.
I also wanted to add more aesthetically to the painting than time allowed for and found myself promising to continue with a new version at home. We'll see.
I knew at the end of writing my intention that the mermaid and the seahorse were going to come out. I was overwhelmed with how they quickly and strongly manifested as I was actually trying to let something else out.
I have a lot to talk about with the mermaid at the end of this class. I want to advise and guide her.
I don't ever want these two to feel that they shouldn't show up.
(You may have noticed the odd writing on the piece. I was going with the process in this class, those words asked to be written, so I wrote them... "old bowls, ceramic, earthenware." I was aware, as I wrote them, that they could be painted over. They were just part of the process. No, the seahorse is not made out of old bowls.)
""...state where you want to be, how you want things... as though they are that way ", "what I create contributes . . . My own needs aside for the needs of others. . . What I make can be of use, and time spent making it is a precious as time spent giving to others." __thoughts shared in class before writing
Do it more -- more frequently, more honestly -- bring it more into my life -- let it be the plate I eat from, the food I cook, the flame I cook with the soil the food grwos in -- the toilet seat I sit on to release it.
Be more aware of it. IT. Yes IT -- the process, the unity, universe, connectedness, inter-connectedness that we all are -- let it be the care I drive -- the steering wheel, the rearview mirror, the job I drive to, the errand I run, the ift I give. May I bring honor with my smile and then, may I smile more. Let it be my smile, my tears, my anger, rage, despair, humiliation, JOY and PEACE. Let it be more freqently, more often, more deeply.